Lucy, Edward, Susan, and Peter each receive a golden ticket, each via a different film “parody” – Lucy (The Da Vinci Code), Edward (Nacho Libre), Susan (Snakes on a Plane) and Peter (X-Men trilogy). This ticket entitles them to visit the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). Willy tells the kids that the secret ingredient in his chocolate is human parts, and he plans to use the orphans as such. He succeeds in getting the ingredients (Lucy’s sweet “heart”, Edward’s “peanuts”, Peter’s “surprise” tooth and Susan’s lemon “head”) to the tune of “Fergalicious”. He then brands Peter’s backside, and is now holding the orphans captive. Lucy finds a wardrobe (The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) and after a series of items fall on her along with a woman (in the unrated movie she is naked) she climbs inside to meet Mr. Tumnus.

He welcomes Lucy to “Gnarnia” by showing her around his home (as a “parody” of Cribs) and warns her of the grave danger she is in through a recorded message which self destructs (Mission: Impossible). Edward follows Lucy to Gnarnia and meets the White Bitch commenting with awe “Stifler’s Mom…”(“what a MILF” in the unrated version, referring to her past role in the American Pie series). She convinces him to trap the other orphans and he can be the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle(Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle), to which he says, “Yeah, I think I’ve already been there…” (Reffering to Kal Penn’s work in the forementioned film). Everyone makes his or her way to Mr. Tumnus’ house, where the orphans discover that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bitch killed their parents. Edward goes to see the White Bitch at her castle and realizes all she cares about are the other orphans. He realizes that she is evil and refuses to tell her where the other orphans are. Unfortunately, the White Bitch flashes him her boobs, and Edward, transfixed, gives her the information unhesitatingly. He is then Punk’d, and locked in the castle prison. The White Bitch sets up Silas (The DaVinci Code) after Peter, Susan and Lucy. Harry Beaver sends Lucy, Susan, and Peter out of the winter scenery and into the woods to train for the war while Silas shoots Mr Tumnus. They end up meeting a graying Harry Potter, along with a balding Ron Weasley, and a pregnant Hermione Granger in Hogwarts. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war. Back at the White Bitch’s castle, as she prepares a WMD that will create a new continent for her and her followers to live on, her assistant hands her a computer with her MySpace on the screen with an IM from Silas saying that the kids have escaped. Edward tries to find ways to break out of prison, and does so with the help of Captain Jack Swallows. On the ship, Swallows is asked what it is like to be a pirate. The “Lazy Pirate Day” video is a parody of a Saturday Night Live Digitial Short, “Lazy Sunday”. The females singing and dancing next, is a parody to the Pussycat Dolls song “Beep”. Swallows sells Edward to the White Bitch and reveals that the ship they are on is an amusement park ride. The White Bitch then kills Jack Swallows before Edward grabs the WMD from her, only to accidentally drop it into the water.

Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter, head to the camp of Aslo. There they encounter James Bond, Chewbacca (Star Wars), and Borat. Aslo agrees to help the orphans on the condition that he may seduce them, including Peter. However, during the mission to rescue Edward, Aslo finishes off Silas, but is ambushed by White Bitch who quickly kills him off. In spite of losing their leader, the entire camp volunteers to help the orphans fight the White Bitch’s army, including Lord of the Rings characters, Robin Hood and his Merry Men and his and Peter’s X-Men classmates. But due to a pre-battle party, the foursome realize they are outnumbered because nobody came to help them until Jack Swallows arrives on a giant cartwheel to get his revenge against the White Bitch. However, the White Bitch dons a Davey Jones mask and play Miss New Booty on a turntable before throwing the mask at Swallows, causing him to detour out of the fight as the orphans are killed off one by one. As Peter is about to be struck down, he grabs the remote from the movie Click off the ground, which he uses to pause time. He rewinds the orphans’ deaths as thet all proceed to kill the paused army before using the remote’s TiVo menu to erase the White Bitch’s evil plot. Before they can kill the White Bitch, Peter stops them and makes a speech about how they will give her a fair trial, yet before the lecture is over, Jack Swallows runs the White Bitch over with his cartwheel. Harry Beaver promotes all four of them Kings and Queens of Gnarnia. They rule Gnarnia for many years, and in their old age, they discover the wardrobe once again, and walk through it, becoming young again. Borat appears to congratulate them, but Jack Swallows’ cartwheel runs them over, and then Borat says “NOT!”. Then he turns around and smacks his own behind and then the credits roll.

Starring – Jayma Mays, Jennifer Coolidge, Adam Campbell, Faune A. Chambers, Darrell Hammond, Kal Penn, Fred Willard, Tim Lockwood, David Lehre
Director/Screenplay – Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
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